“I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.”
These are the wise words of José Micard Teixeira – though they are often wrongly attributed to the wonderful actress Meryl Streep. The quote has been floating around on social media recently, and I can see why it has become so popular.
Some people have said that this quote is intolerant and perhaps a bit grumpy but I don’t think that’s true. I think Teixeria is saying that there is too much in our lives that is really not important. We put up with people saying things we don’t agree with, biting our tongues to keep the peace. We spend time with people we actually don’t like, to avoid an argument. We allow people to be mean to us without standing up for ourselves. We work ourselves half to death, trying to please people who, it seems, will never be pleased. There comes a point in our lives where we just have to realise: some people are just incompatible. Some of us just don’t get on. Some people will just do uncomprehensively unkind, dishonest or hypocritical things.
Stop and take stock of the people around you. Do they all enrich your life and want what is best for you? If not, perhaps it’s time you showed them the door!
There comes a point where you have to just say, fine. Do what you will do, but I will not be part of it. Perhaps they expect you to be at their beck and call, but keep a log of every time they have helped you and are owed “payback.” Perhaps they gossip constantly, or are generally negative. Perhaps you feel indebted to them for something they’ve done for you in the past, or you feel responsible for them in some way.
September is traditionally the time we all think about starting afresh. Children are returning to school, and Autumn is on the way. Do you want to start another season with negative influences in your life?
It is not mean to remove yourself from a situation that is dragging you down. It’s not unkind; it’s not unnecessarily selfish.
In our business, we need to be able to be cheerful and upbeat for our clients. We need to be able to spread our happiness, and make our clients feel fantastic. You can’t do that with the weight of the world on your shoulders. You can’t fake genuine happiness; you need to be genuinely happy! It’s the only way it will work.
So take a deep breath , and say NO. No, I won’t do that for you. No, I don’t want to join in gossipping with you. No, I am not prepared to tolerate your dishonesty.
It can be liberating to realise you are free of what has been dragging you down! Try it – you might just find you like it!